Sunday, January 27, 2008

Rediscovering my words...

I sit here again today...starting all over again...or maybe just collecting the pieces of what remains...once again trying to discover myself and telling myself that who I was...

Feels strange for sure that today I am the biggest stranger to myself....I might know a lot of people but am a "Nobody" to myself only...

It all started with words and thats what I want to rediscover....but maybe now I will never be able to do it again because they flowed freely in me and now I'm doing all this for a cause that I know has been lost again....

When I look at it, it all goes round and round in a circle of hopelessness.....

Going back again to it has no reason....because the reason itself has been lost...maybe thats why when I look at my words they appear so ugly to me. There is a wretchedness in then which has crept in slowly but surely. They are poisoned by gloom and despair and that was never the way I thought they would be.

From where it started, there was hope n life in them and now what remains is just a sad reminder of what all has been lost....

And then maybe what all I consider to be lost was never mine....but in that case too I fail to understand why I lost all that too that I consider came from inside me......maybe thats what paying for love is supposed to be.....

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